style. and age.

my style is very "hippie-chic."  i like funky, edgy, fun, girly, flirty, badass things, haha.  i love bright, happy colors like pinks, purples, yellows, & turquoises.  i practically live in tights & boots.  plain, solid colored things bore me.  my brand is truly free people...i think around 90% of my closet is made up of free people items.  it's nice (and easy) to have a brand that truly speaks to me - and fits me well.  they're planning to open one in SF next year, which means trouble! haha.  it's funny, because my boyfriends style is pretty much the opposite of mine.  we were at the mall yesterday to get him some nice shirts & shoes for work (and i REALLY needed to get out of my apt - i've been laying around and "taking it easy" since the biopsy and was starting to get stir crazy... and yes, i'm still in pain..) and he pointed out a dress that he thought was nice.  he followed that comment up with "but it's probably not funky enough for you."  he was basically right, it was really plain.  i'm sure i could make it work with the right shoes and jewelry, but it was something i would never gravitate towards on my own.  i was busy eyeing a cute purple dress ahead of me, when shane continued with "you probably like that one," and pointed at the exact one that i was looking at.  lol, at least he knows me by now.  he said "my style is simple and sleek."  which that dress he liked absolutely was.

it made me think.  i know eventually i'll adapt my wardrobe to a more sleek, classy style (not to say that i don't have classy pieces in it now, but that is definitely not how i dress on a daily basis... and i'm not saying i dress the opposite (trashy)... i'd say more fun & flirty), but right now, i love the way i dress.  i love my clothes.  i feel good in them.  confident.  even the pieces that shane has flat out told me he doesn't like.  and honestly, when he makes fun of certain things of mine, it just makes me want to wear them more lol.  i'm very anti changing for anyone else.  i love the person that i am.  he loves me, so he needs to accept me for who i am.  one of my favorite quotes is from rent - it goes: "take me for what i am, who i was meant to be, and if you give a damn, take me baby, or leave me."  i'm 25, i'm still in school, i don't feel like i'm in the adult world yet.  i know the rest of my life i'm going to have to dress that certain way.  and, like i said in one of my earlier posts, i'm making up for lost years.  i'm sure that slowly, bit by bit, my wardrobe will move more towards the business casual, more conservative side.  i know i'm going to have to grow up eventually.  so give me a few years, shane.
speaking of which, something happened this past week (that only 3 of my closest friends know about) that made me feel old.  it was a really weird & disturbing feeling.  i've always felt young.  excluding the times that i'm around my closest friends, i'm usually the youngest in the room.  i go to grad school where a lot of my classmates are older.  my last boyfriend was 5 years older, shane is 4 years older.  it's always obvious to me that i'm the young one.  it's always slightly evident in their friends/colleagues demeanor towards me (though not in a rude way, just in a way that makes me very aware that i am younger than them).  shane has made comments several times about something being from his generation and not mine.  but this thing that happened this past week - it made me feel like one of the women on sex and the city when they're talking about the younger girls and how men always like them.  it made me feel like the old hag.  it was a scary moment.  sort of a rude awakening - like this is what's to come.  it was weird, because shane & i also had a sort of joking conversation yesterday about 18 year old girls and he said something like "all guys are the same" regarding younger girls.  maybe it's just the theme of the week?  regardless, i hope i don't feel that way ever again...

and here's that song from rent - SO good!!!