June 8th

I think June 8th is my cursed day.  Last year on this day, I felt like my whole world was falling apart.  I spent somewhere around 6-8 hours sitting in a dark hospital room with my mom - one of eight days straight that she was in there.  My boyfriend of a few years was at my parents house with my dad, helping him eat because he had a feeding tube at the time and at that point couldn't feed himself with it alone.  When I got home from the hospital, Luke & I drove to Whole Foods to pick up a six pack of my favorite beer (Gumballhead!), where he broke up with me in the parking lot.
This year, there were some more hard days revolving around health.  My mom had a meeting with a doctor that didn't live up to her expectations about a new chemo drug that just came out.  I had to get an unexpected biopsy and sobbed through the whole doctors appointment and made a nurse come and hold my hand during it because I didn't want to be alone.  My boyfriend happened to be out of town this week at E3, which is basically one of his busiest weeks at work, so the timing was pretty crappy.  I've spent the last day and a half scared and crying and shaking, stomach in knots.  I think anticipation is the worst.  Although I feel pretty shitty now - I have some severe cramps.  But at least now we have somewhat more of an idea of what is going on concerning this drug my mom's been waiting for for six years, and we'll know more next week.  At least my appointment is over with and all I have to do now is wait for results.  And to be honest, I'm not even really that worried anymore... I think I was just more scared about the biopsy.  I'm a huge wuss when it comes to doctors/medical stuff.  Lol, and I was scared that if something was really wrong then Shane would leave me... which he assured me would never happen.
On the up side though, my dog is being adorable.  I think she knows something is wrong because she's been extra cuddly the past 2 days.  And I gave her a bath yesterday so she is super soft right now =)  Also on the up side - where my dad had a feeding tube and couldn't even use it himself at this point last year, he is now eating all sorts of things, which is so fucking amazing and makes me so happy I could scream with joy.
All in all, I have to remember that this is all a learning experience.  I was put here on this planet to learn and grow and experience life in this way.  I am a spiritual being having a human experience.  And one of my favorite quotes that my friend Bria told me around this time last year has really stuck with me:  "Life is like the mountains: without the peaks and valleys, you would never know how beautiful they are."