scary dreams.

the past two nights in a row i have had crazy intense dreams that soda was drowning, right before morning, too. really disturbing. the good thing about both dreams though was that i saved her both times.

the first dream, two nights ago, started out where i was on a roadtrip with terra and we stopped at this place to get lunch. it was really pretty, and you had to go down these wooden steps through all this lush plant life and cross this plank style bridge that was about as thick as my coffee table to get to the tables. i had gone over to check it out first and came back and told terra it was super pretty and she had to come look at it. her and soda were on the steps still and i was on the bridge when this huge wave came and knocked me off. at first my reaction was like "aw man, i'm on a roadtrip and now my clothes are all wet," but the water felt good and i got over it. i got back on the bridge and terra and soda came and then this huge wave that was covered with dolphins (i dunno.) came and totally sent us flying. i was in the water, underwater, desperately looking for soda. it was so real. the water was murky. i was holding my breath as hard as i could (which i'm terrible at) and i was trying so hard to keep my eyes open underwater (which i'm also terrible at). i couldn't see her and i needed air so i decided to go up, grab a huge breath of air, and then i HAD to find her on that second trip down because she had already been underwater for way too long. i did it, and it was so hard to grab a huge breath and get momentum to dive back down with the waves crashing around me, but i did it. i was looking for her and then down to my right i vaguely made out her silhouette. she was conscious still and saw me and was trying to move towards me. (thinking about this right now makes my heart rip in two & makes me feel sick to my stomach... i seriously love this dog more than anything.) anyway, i grabbed her and brought her up and she was okay. thank god. and then i woke up.

then last night in my dream, i was aware that i had had that dream the night before. i was on a beach with my parents and the water was super warm and turquoise and beautiful like the caribbean. there was a little ledge or pier or something running into the water, too. so i was sleeping in the sand and woke up and i guess was surprised at my location (maybe we just arrived on vacation?) but that water looked so pretty i HAD to get in it. first, though, i had to have a pomegranate margarita (which i had last night at dinner, haha). so i got in the water and it was like bathwater and felt so good and i was drinkig and i had my sunglasses on and my mom took a picture of me lol. so soda walks out on to the water - and she was literally walking on the water. and i remember being half buzzed and saying "how is she doing that?" but i wasn't really all that alarmed. anyway, i realized their were sharks in the water and i started thinking about how i was nervous she would start to drown because of the dream i had the night before. there were waves, and because of them, there was a dip in the water (it had been flat in the shallow end that she was walking on), and she went over to snif it and then totally fell in. i was on it. i swam over to her as fast as i could and started panicking because of all the sharks. i grabbed her and tried to hold her little head over the waves that were splashing all around. she was okay, but a huge shark was chasing us. i kicked it. and i could literally feel its slimy body on my foot. my dad was on the ledge/pier thing and i was screaming to him to let me give soda to him so i could get her out of the water as quickly as possible and telling him about the sharks. (even in my dream, i was ready to sacrifice my own life for hers) he was running alongside me on the ledge and i tried to give her to him, but it was easier to just hold her up and keep heading for shore, which i did. and we made it safely and she was okay. and then i woke up.

anyway, the first one shook me up enough. the fact that i had a second one is really tripping me out. i often have dreams that come true and i'm super nervous that something might happen to soda now. i just had to give her a new flea/tic medication and now i'm like a nervous parent hovering around her (although, this is also due to the last time i had to give her a new flea/tic medicine she had a terrible reaction and got super sick and i had to rush her to the animal emergency room). the one i gave her today is just a generic version of the one i usually give her, though, whereas the one she OD'ed on was a totally different thing all together - it was a pill that killed the bugs in a different way, not a topical. anyway, i love this little dog with all my heart. she is like my child, she's my best friend, my world. i just want her to live a long, happy, and healthy life with me. love you, soda <3