Tuesday, August 30, 2011
leather.
leather dresses seem to really be *in* right now... i feel like i see them everywhere, on every designers website. i like this one, too bad it's $468.00. yowza.
confession.
when shane is out of town, i make sure to fill up soda's dog food bowl and put out an extra bowl of water for her each time i leave the house. that way in case i die while i'm out, she'll have enough to last her until my parents or shane realize it and come to take her. and yes, i'm aware that i can be a total lunatic, but i love my puppy, okay?
Monday, August 29, 2011
omgggggggggggg
i have the best boyfriend in the whole entire world. seriously. he is amazing. i must have done something damn good in a past life and built up some stellar karma because i am the luckiest girl ever! :D he got me plane tickets to paris today for my bday! :D and... it took him over 3 hours because he was using his points for my flight & dealing with the airline and his work travel agency for his and i am floored that this boy goes so out of his way on a continual basis to make me happy. he is amazing and the love of my life.
i want to start packing right now lol.
i want to start packing right now lol.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
it's been awhile since i've posted about clothes...
so... here's an outfit i liked last week. nothing special. just was comfy and cute.
i want.
Quiet Apartment in 1891 Victorian
Date: 2011-08-18, 8:55PM
A ground floor unit with private entry in an 1891 Queen Ann Victorian home on one of the best blocks in Noe Valley, offering dishwasher, range, convection microwave oven, disposal, an in-unit washer/dryer, and TWO walk-in closets, with nine foot ceilings. No rear yard access.
Four rooms (bedroom, bath, kitchen, living/dining) totaling 650 square feet. Gas range and water heater. All utilities separately metered. Pre-wired for cable and telephone service (not included in rent.) Street parking only (no permit required.) Easy access to US-101 and I-280.
Unit is fully fire-sprinklered, and has venetian blinds for front windows and door.
Twelve-month lease required; most pets welcome with references and pet deposit. NO SMOKERS. Move-in costs are first month's rent, cleaning and damage deposit, any pet deposits, plus tenant must establish accounts with Sunset Scavenger, PG&E, San Francisco Water Department, and telephone and cable service.
Easy walking distance to 24th Street shopping district, MUNI J-Church, 24-Divisadero, and 48-Quintara lines, Apple, Google, and Genentech shuttles, a 15-minute walk to 24th-Mission BART station. Caltrain 22nd Street Station approximately 20 minutes by MUNI 48-Quintara bus.
Unit viewing available by appointment, call 415-821-7499 to arrange an appointment.
950 Sanchez Street (google map) (yahoo map)
cats are OK - purrr
dogs are OK - wooof
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/apa/2554502532.html
Date: 2011-08-18, 8:55PM
A ground floor unit with private entry in an 1891 Queen Ann Victorian home on one of the best blocks in Noe Valley, offering dishwasher, range, convection microwave oven, disposal, an in-unit washer/dryer, and TWO walk-in closets, with nine foot ceilings. No rear yard access.
Four rooms (bedroom, bath, kitchen, living/dining) totaling 650 square feet. Gas range and water heater. All utilities separately metered. Pre-wired for cable and telephone service (not included in rent.) Street parking only (no permit required.) Easy access to US-101 and I-280.
Unit is fully fire-sprinklered, and has venetian blinds for front windows and door.
Twelve-month lease required; most pets welcome with references and pet deposit. NO SMOKERS. Move-in costs are first month's rent, cleaning and damage deposit, any pet deposits, plus tenant must establish accounts with Sunset Scavenger, PG&E, San Francisco Water Department, and telephone and cable service.
Easy walking distance to 24th Street shopping district, MUNI J-Church, 24-Divisadero, and 48-Quintara lines, Apple, Google, and Genentech shuttles, a 15-minute walk to 24th-Mission BART station. Caltrain 22nd Street Station approximately 20 minutes by MUNI 48-Quintara bus.
Unit viewing available by appointment, call 415-821-7499 to arrange an appointment.
950 Sanchez Street (google map) (yahoo map)
cats are OK - purrr
dogs are OK - wooof
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/apa/2554502532.html
attention. getting it. and not getting it.
nicki & ben ended up rescuing me last night. ben & i drove nicki to work and then hung out at the place she bartends at and ate & drank for cheap. it was a good time =) then i came home and video chatted with shane for 2 1/2 hours lol. man, i'm crazy about that kid :D
anyway, at one point last night ben and i were talking about guys and he was really surprised at first when i told him that guys never hit on me b/c he said he notices guys checking me out all the time. i get cat calls when i'm walking around from guys in cars all the time, but it's not really the same. the first time a complete stranger ever asked for my number was a few months ago, and i was so taken aback by it i hardly knew what to do. actually, at first i thought he was talking about soda when he told me that i was cute, lol. then ben said once he thought about it, that he's actually not that surprised, because guys are probably intimidated b/c i'm so pretty and i'm confident. that's a weird concept to think about - you have to be pretty for guys to hit on you (at least guys that you would WANT hitting on you...), but if you're TOO pretty then it won't happen? and then also what does this say about the confidence factor? that guys don't want a girl to be TOO confident?! is insecurity attractive? i don't know. i'm not saying that i agree with any of this, but i always kind of felt a little insecure about how guys never wanted to talk to me when i was out. i just assumed that they didn't find me attractive enough. but the idea that maybe they are intimidated makes me feel better about the whole thing lol.
anyway, i'm bringing this up for a reason, not to talk about how a friend gave me a compliment, haha. it was really bumming me out about how no one at school really ever invites me to anything or seems to want to talk to me or get to know me at all, and i was thinking that maybe i give off an intimidating vibe? not in the same sense that i possibly do with guys, but maybe i give off an unfriendly vibe or a vibe that says i don't want people to talk to me? i don't know. if i do, i certainly don't mean to. maybe what i feel as lonliness, others take for a loner that doesn't want to be bothered. who knows. i wish someone would clue me in so i could work on changing that, though :(
it's just weird - even in a social experiment thinking type way - how some people others go out of their way to give a ton of attention to, and some people they leave alone. some people they want to befriend and others they don't.
anyway, at one point last night ben and i were talking about guys and he was really surprised at first when i told him that guys never hit on me b/c he said he notices guys checking me out all the time. i get cat calls when i'm walking around from guys in cars all the time, but it's not really the same. the first time a complete stranger ever asked for my number was a few months ago, and i was so taken aback by it i hardly knew what to do. actually, at first i thought he was talking about soda when he told me that i was cute, lol. then ben said once he thought about it, that he's actually not that surprised, because guys are probably intimidated b/c i'm so pretty and i'm confident. that's a weird concept to think about - you have to be pretty for guys to hit on you (at least guys that you would WANT hitting on you...), but if you're TOO pretty then it won't happen? and then also what does this say about the confidence factor? that guys don't want a girl to be TOO confident?! is insecurity attractive? i don't know. i'm not saying that i agree with any of this, but i always kind of felt a little insecure about how guys never wanted to talk to me when i was out. i just assumed that they didn't find me attractive enough. but the idea that maybe they are intimidated makes me feel better about the whole thing lol.
anyway, i'm bringing this up for a reason, not to talk about how a friend gave me a compliment, haha. it was really bumming me out about how no one at school really ever invites me to anything or seems to want to talk to me or get to know me at all, and i was thinking that maybe i give off an intimidating vibe? not in the same sense that i possibly do with guys, but maybe i give off an unfriendly vibe or a vibe that says i don't want people to talk to me? i don't know. if i do, i certainly don't mean to. maybe what i feel as lonliness, others take for a loner that doesn't want to be bothered. who knows. i wish someone would clue me in so i could work on changing that, though :(
it's just weird - even in a social experiment thinking type way - how some people others go out of their way to give a ton of attention to, and some people they leave alone. some people they want to befriend and others they don't.
Friday, August 26, 2011
lonely.
disclaimer: if you don't want to read about me feeling sorry for myself, then you probably shouldn't continue reading...
i had my first actual day of class today. second class, but the first one was the one i'm TAing for. it went fine. it was my workshop and i think it'll be good; it seems like a good group. i'm feeling kind of blah, though. it's a beautiful day out - 70 degrees in SF (it was almost 80 in oakland), i'm wearing a dress, i feel pretty and i'm in a social mood - i want to just sit outside and have a drink with someone and chat and be around people. but there's no one to be around. shane is out of town, nicki's working, and i basically don't know anyone else. it seems like everyone at school has made friends already and they're all in tight groups and all hang out. i don't really get how that happened. i've been trying so hard to make friends and get to know people & it just doesn't seem to be able to happen. i never get invited to go anywhere. no one seems interested in getting to know me. i wonder if i put that vibe out there? i've been trying to be really friendly, so i don't know. to quote Pepper: "you never know just how you look through other peoples eyes."
lately i've been asking myself what i'm doing out here. with my life. i have SUCH a tight, good, solid, amazing group of friends back home. i miss them. i miss being able to see my friends a few times a week. i miss my parents also. and since my moms been sick it's been hard. thank god i have soda pop out here because she brings so much joy into my life and without her i would be REALLY effing lonely. i know i'm out here living my dream - living in california, where i've always wanted to live. and i have shane out here, whom i'm crazy in love with and being around him makes me incredibly happy. but he's been traveling a lot lately, and really busy and stressed with his job, and also recording a new album which takes up a lot of his time. we were supposed to go to a wedding in san diego next weekend and i was excited to be able to spend that time with him, but we found out the wedding got called off. totally cancelled. which is nuts. i already booked soda and am going to get charged even if i cancel her, and we booked a hotel room and a flight so we're not really sure what we're going to do. i would love to still go for the night and take a mini vacay with shane, but i think that he wants to see if he can get the tickets refunded so he has an extra day for recording. anyway, back to what i was saying: i DO love living in san francisco - it's such an amazing city. but i'm sick of living alone. i'm sick of being lonely so often. i've felt like a total loner all summer b/c shane's spent his weekends in san ramon working on his new album. and that's not really like me. i love alone time, but i also thrive on being around people. i'm a libra - we like to be social!
anyway, i don't really know what to do about it. i've probably been extra lonely/sad/stressed because a) i've had way too much free time on my hands to think and b) my moms been in bad shape lately. now that school's about to start, i'm sure i'm going to be so busy that i'll be happy to get time to just relax and be with shane and think.
oh and ps - i came home to find a mouse eating soda's food =( effffffffff. okay, that's all.
i had my first actual day of class today. second class, but the first one was the one i'm TAing for. it went fine. it was my workshop and i think it'll be good; it seems like a good group. i'm feeling kind of blah, though. it's a beautiful day out - 70 degrees in SF (it was almost 80 in oakland), i'm wearing a dress, i feel pretty and i'm in a social mood - i want to just sit outside and have a drink with someone and chat and be around people. but there's no one to be around. shane is out of town, nicki's working, and i basically don't know anyone else. it seems like everyone at school has made friends already and they're all in tight groups and all hang out. i don't really get how that happened. i've been trying so hard to make friends and get to know people & it just doesn't seem to be able to happen. i never get invited to go anywhere. no one seems interested in getting to know me. i wonder if i put that vibe out there? i've been trying to be really friendly, so i don't know. to quote Pepper: "you never know just how you look through other peoples eyes."
lately i've been asking myself what i'm doing out here. with my life. i have SUCH a tight, good, solid, amazing group of friends back home. i miss them. i miss being able to see my friends a few times a week. i miss my parents also. and since my moms been sick it's been hard. thank god i have soda pop out here because she brings so much joy into my life and without her i would be REALLY effing lonely. i know i'm out here living my dream - living in california, where i've always wanted to live. and i have shane out here, whom i'm crazy in love with and being around him makes me incredibly happy. but he's been traveling a lot lately, and really busy and stressed with his job, and also recording a new album which takes up a lot of his time. we were supposed to go to a wedding in san diego next weekend and i was excited to be able to spend that time with him, but we found out the wedding got called off. totally cancelled. which is nuts. i already booked soda and am going to get charged even if i cancel her, and we booked a hotel room and a flight so we're not really sure what we're going to do. i would love to still go for the night and take a mini vacay with shane, but i think that he wants to see if he can get the tickets refunded so he has an extra day for recording. anyway, back to what i was saying: i DO love living in san francisco - it's such an amazing city. but i'm sick of living alone. i'm sick of being lonely so often. i've felt like a total loner all summer b/c shane's spent his weekends in san ramon working on his new album. and that's not really like me. i love alone time, but i also thrive on being around people. i'm a libra - we like to be social!
anyway, i don't really know what to do about it. i've probably been extra lonely/sad/stressed because a) i've had way too much free time on my hands to think and b) my moms been in bad shape lately. now that school's about to start, i'm sure i'm going to be so busy that i'll be happy to get time to just relax and be with shane and think.
oh and ps - i came home to find a mouse eating soda's food =( effffffffff. okay, that's all.
10 ways the definition of beauty has changed...
http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/hygiene-tips/10-ways-the-definition-of-beauty-has-changed.htm#mkcpgn=fbtlc21
Thursday, August 25, 2011
first riding lessons at age 6... aka when the addiction began :p
ps. the best part is that this horse's name was Appy because he's an Appaloosa haha
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
scary dreams.
the past two nights in a row i have had crazy intense dreams that soda was drowning, right before morning, too. really disturbing. the good thing about both dreams though was that i saved her both times.
the first dream, two nights ago, started out where i was on a roadtrip with terra and we stopped at this place to get lunch. it was really pretty, and you had to go down these wooden steps through all this lush plant life and cross this plank style bridge that was about as thick as my coffee table to get to the tables. i had gone over to check it out first and came back and told terra it was super pretty and she had to come look at it. her and soda were on the steps still and i was on the bridge when this huge wave came and knocked me off. at first my reaction was like "aw man, i'm on a roadtrip and now my clothes are all wet," but the water felt good and i got over it. i got back on the bridge and terra and soda came and then this huge wave that was covered with dolphins (i dunno.) came and totally sent us flying. i was in the water, underwater, desperately looking for soda. it was so real. the water was murky. i was holding my breath as hard as i could (which i'm terrible at) and i was trying so hard to keep my eyes open underwater (which i'm also terrible at). i couldn't see her and i needed air so i decided to go up, grab a huge breath of air, and then i HAD to find her on that second trip down because she had already been underwater for way too long. i did it, and it was so hard to grab a huge breath and get momentum to dive back down with the waves crashing around me, but i did it. i was looking for her and then down to my right i vaguely made out her silhouette. she was conscious still and saw me and was trying to move towards me. (thinking about this right now makes my heart rip in two & makes me feel sick to my stomach... i seriously love this dog more than anything.) anyway, i grabbed her and brought her up and she was okay. thank god. and then i woke up.
then last night in my dream, i was aware that i had had that dream the night before. i was on a beach with my parents and the water was super warm and turquoise and beautiful like the caribbean. there was a little ledge or pier or something running into the water, too. so i was sleeping in the sand and woke up and i guess was surprised at my location (maybe we just arrived on vacation?) but that water looked so pretty i HAD to get in it. first, though, i had to have a pomegranate margarita (which i had last night at dinner, haha). so i got in the water and it was like bathwater and felt so good and i was drinkig and i had my sunglasses on and my mom took a picture of me lol. so soda walks out on to the water - and she was literally walking on the water. and i remember being half buzzed and saying "how is she doing that?" but i wasn't really all that alarmed. anyway, i realized their were sharks in the water and i started thinking about how i was nervous she would start to drown because of the dream i had the night before. there were waves, and because of them, there was a dip in the water (it had been flat in the shallow end that she was walking on), and she went over to snif it and then totally fell in. i was on it. i swam over to her as fast as i could and started panicking because of all the sharks. i grabbed her and tried to hold her little head over the waves that were splashing all around. she was okay, but a huge shark was chasing us. i kicked it. and i could literally feel its slimy body on my foot. my dad was on the ledge/pier thing and i was screaming to him to let me give soda to him so i could get her out of the water as quickly as possible and telling him about the sharks. (even in my dream, i was ready to sacrifice my own life for hers) he was running alongside me on the ledge and i tried to give her to him, but it was easier to just hold her up and keep heading for shore, which i did. and we made it safely and she was okay. and then i woke up.
anyway, the first one shook me up enough. the fact that i had a second one is really tripping me out. i often have dreams that come true and i'm super nervous that something might happen to soda now. i just had to give her a new flea/tic medication and now i'm like a nervous parent hovering around her (although, this is also due to the last time i had to give her a new flea/tic medicine she had a terrible reaction and got super sick and i had to rush her to the animal emergency room). the one i gave her today is just a generic version of the one i usually give her, though, whereas the one she OD'ed on was a totally different thing all together - it was a pill that killed the bugs in a different way, not a topical. anyway, i love this little dog with all my heart. she is like my child, she's my best friend, my world. i just want her to live a long, happy, and healthy life with me. love you, soda <3
the first dream, two nights ago, started out where i was on a roadtrip with terra and we stopped at this place to get lunch. it was really pretty, and you had to go down these wooden steps through all this lush plant life and cross this plank style bridge that was about as thick as my coffee table to get to the tables. i had gone over to check it out first and came back and told terra it was super pretty and she had to come look at it. her and soda were on the steps still and i was on the bridge when this huge wave came and knocked me off. at first my reaction was like "aw man, i'm on a roadtrip and now my clothes are all wet," but the water felt good and i got over it. i got back on the bridge and terra and soda came and then this huge wave that was covered with dolphins (i dunno.) came and totally sent us flying. i was in the water, underwater, desperately looking for soda. it was so real. the water was murky. i was holding my breath as hard as i could (which i'm terrible at) and i was trying so hard to keep my eyes open underwater (which i'm also terrible at). i couldn't see her and i needed air so i decided to go up, grab a huge breath of air, and then i HAD to find her on that second trip down because she had already been underwater for way too long. i did it, and it was so hard to grab a huge breath and get momentum to dive back down with the waves crashing around me, but i did it. i was looking for her and then down to my right i vaguely made out her silhouette. she was conscious still and saw me and was trying to move towards me. (thinking about this right now makes my heart rip in two & makes me feel sick to my stomach... i seriously love this dog more than anything.) anyway, i grabbed her and brought her up and she was okay. thank god. and then i woke up.
then last night in my dream, i was aware that i had had that dream the night before. i was on a beach with my parents and the water was super warm and turquoise and beautiful like the caribbean. there was a little ledge or pier or something running into the water, too. so i was sleeping in the sand and woke up and i guess was surprised at my location (maybe we just arrived on vacation?) but that water looked so pretty i HAD to get in it. first, though, i had to have a pomegranate margarita (which i had last night at dinner, haha). so i got in the water and it was like bathwater and felt so good and i was drinkig and i had my sunglasses on and my mom took a picture of me lol. so soda walks out on to the water - and she was literally walking on the water. and i remember being half buzzed and saying "how is she doing that?" but i wasn't really all that alarmed. anyway, i realized their were sharks in the water and i started thinking about how i was nervous she would start to drown because of the dream i had the night before. there were waves, and because of them, there was a dip in the water (it had been flat in the shallow end that she was walking on), and she went over to snif it and then totally fell in. i was on it. i swam over to her as fast as i could and started panicking because of all the sharks. i grabbed her and tried to hold her little head over the waves that were splashing all around. she was okay, but a huge shark was chasing us. i kicked it. and i could literally feel its slimy body on my foot. my dad was on the ledge/pier thing and i was screaming to him to let me give soda to him so i could get her out of the water as quickly as possible and telling him about the sharks. (even in my dream, i was ready to sacrifice my own life for hers) he was running alongside me on the ledge and i tried to give her to him, but it was easier to just hold her up and keep heading for shore, which i did. and we made it safely and she was okay. and then i woke up.
anyway, the first one shook me up enough. the fact that i had a second one is really tripping me out. i often have dreams that come true and i'm super nervous that something might happen to soda now. i just had to give her a new flea/tic medication and now i'm like a nervous parent hovering around her (although, this is also due to the last time i had to give her a new flea/tic medicine she had a terrible reaction and got super sick and i had to rush her to the animal emergency room). the one i gave her today is just a generic version of the one i usually give her, though, whereas the one she OD'ed on was a totally different thing all together - it was a pill that killed the bugs in a different way, not a topical. anyway, i love this little dog with all my heart. she is like my child, she's my best friend, my world. i just want her to live a long, happy, and healthy life with me. love you, soda <3
Monday, August 22, 2011
How to measure your perfect skirt length!
how to get your perfect skirt length down to an exact mathematical science: i love this!
http://jcauncmom.blogspot.com/2009/09/part-2-how-to-decide-your-ideal-skirt.html
apparently i am a "short shinner," which is why mini skirts & short dresses look way better on me than knee length or mid-calf length skirts & dresses: my thigh length is 19" and my calf length is 16" :/ according to this though, this is most common among american women so i guess i am in the majority at least...
http://jcauncmom.blogspot.com/2009/09/part-2-how-to-decide-your-ideal-skirt.html
apparently i am a "short shinner," which is why mini skirts & short dresses look way better on me than knee length or mid-calf length skirts & dresses: my thigh length is 19" and my calf length is 16" :/ according to this though, this is most common among american women so i guess i am in the majority at least...
Saturday, August 20, 2011
art.
my favorite artists are Alex Grey, Mark Henson, Luke Brown... someday i'll buy paintings from all of them.
iceland...
my boyfriends roommate is on vacation in iceland so i had to google it. these are some of the images that came up. wooooooowow!
new mascara.
i've been using bobbi brown forever, but really, it clumps. i tried jane iredale, which is also the brand i use on my face - i LOVE her makeup! it is the OG of mineral makeup (long before bare minerals) and is the only mineral makeup that is 100% natural minerals (bareminerals is only 80% and made me break out so bad). jane iredale is called "the skincare makeup" b/c it's actually good for your skin. i love love love it. and now i'm also in love with their mascara. <3
(click the image to enlarge)
ps - it was creeping me out that one of my legs looked bigger than the other in this pic, but then i realized i was sitting on my right leg. haha, all is right in the world. had to throw out that disclaimer lol :p
(click the image to enlarge)
ps - it was creeping me out that one of my legs looked bigger than the other in this pic, but then i realized i was sitting on my right leg. haha, all is right in the world. had to throw out that disclaimer lol :p
Friday, August 19, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Great quote
I'm watching the movie "the holiday," which is one of my favorite Girly movies (along with love actually and letters to Juliet). The best quote from it is this one, where she's talking about having your heart broken. Man I know that feeling:
Iris: I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade. -- IMDb Quotes: The Holiday (2006)
Iris: I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade. -- IMDb Quotes: The Holiday (2006)
Sunshine Daydream
they say you can't truly love others until you can learn to love yourself. i agree with that. here is me enjoying my own company WAY too much. (yep, i'm aware that i'm the biggest dork you all know...haha:D). oh - and a side note. i like that they came out all trippy. if you click on them to zoom them in, they look like a monet.
PS - it was a beautiful, sunny day outside. i was home alone. and i was wearing the floweyest shirt ever. how could i NOT twirl and jump around?! haha :D
PS - it was a beautiful, sunny day outside. i was home alone. and i was wearing the floweyest shirt ever. how could i NOT twirl and jump around?! haha :D
video chat a couple days ago...
kind of funny video chatting with my boyfriend when he's at my apartment with my puppy...
so good to see their cute faces though! :D
so good to see their cute faces though! :D
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
some old black dude on a bike just rode up next to me while i was walking soda and said "no black dog, huh? white only." then shook his head gravely at me and rode away. he was dead serious, too. ughhhh does EVERYthing have to be about race?! or sexuality?! the bay area is so effing politically minded it's starting to aggravate me. yes, my dog is white. her breed also comes in black & white since you really care, but she's white. and no, that does not make me a racist. just leave me alone.
fuck fuck fuck i have to go back to fucking chicago tomorrow. this fucking sucks so bad.
on a happy note - i have the best boyfriend in the world. i spent most of the day/night friday super depressed and crying and lonely and saturday morning i was feeling the same way. the whole time Shane kept telling me to come out to his parents house, even though he would be in the garage working on music stuff the whole time, i could hang out by the pool with his family. i kept saying no b/c i didn't want to impose and because i wasn't in the mood to be social and i kept bursting into tears so i wasn't really in a good state to be around people. he kept persisting and wouldn't take no for an answer and finally his dad called me and told me they were having a bunch of people over to bbq by the pool and to come over. so i went and i'm so glad i did. it was such a nice relaxing day. it's so beautiful out there. it was nice to be around people. they have a separate house behind their house and shane (and soda) and i slept out there and i woke up to a rooster crowing. i took soda out first thing and i felt like i was on vacation in a little cottage in the woods. we walked around the house and the horses were out eating breakfast and nipper (one of their horses) came and said hello to me. it was so peaceful and beautiful i never wanted to leave. that is what i want - a beautiful home with an incredible view, in warm weather, with lots of animals to greet me each morning. paradise.
ugh, but back here in reality i'm so stressed, i have so much to do before the semester starts. i had a dream a several days ago (before my mom went into the hospital), that i would have to go home the week before school started and i was really hoping it wasn't going to come true. but of course it did, because my dreams that are like that always come true. anyway, soda will be staying with shane at my apartment. i feel bad, i know that is a lot of responsibility, but he seems more than happy to help. he is seriously the most amazing person in the world and the only person i trust to watch my little baby fluff; i am such a lucky girl. hopefully they'll be okay. haha who knows, maybe they'll both love it - they're pretty good buddies, so i'm thinking they'll enjoy some alone time to do more bonding :)
on a happy note - i have the best boyfriend in the world. i spent most of the day/night friday super depressed and crying and lonely and saturday morning i was feeling the same way. the whole time Shane kept telling me to come out to his parents house, even though he would be in the garage working on music stuff the whole time, i could hang out by the pool with his family. i kept saying no b/c i didn't want to impose and because i wasn't in the mood to be social and i kept bursting into tears so i wasn't really in a good state to be around people. he kept persisting and wouldn't take no for an answer and finally his dad called me and told me they were having a bunch of people over to bbq by the pool and to come over. so i went and i'm so glad i did. it was such a nice relaxing day. it's so beautiful out there. it was nice to be around people. they have a separate house behind their house and shane (and soda) and i slept out there and i woke up to a rooster crowing. i took soda out first thing and i felt like i was on vacation in a little cottage in the woods. we walked around the house and the horses were out eating breakfast and nipper (one of their horses) came and said hello to me. it was so peaceful and beautiful i never wanted to leave. that is what i want - a beautiful home with an incredible view, in warm weather, with lots of animals to greet me each morning. paradise.
ugh, but back here in reality i'm so stressed, i have so much to do before the semester starts. i had a dream a several days ago (before my mom went into the hospital), that i would have to go home the week before school started and i was really hoping it wasn't going to come true. but of course it did, because my dreams that are like that always come true. anyway, soda will be staying with shane at my apartment. i feel bad, i know that is a lot of responsibility, but he seems more than happy to help. he is seriously the most amazing person in the world and the only person i trust to watch my little baby fluff; i am such a lucky girl. hopefully they'll be okay. haha who knows, maybe they'll both love it - they're pretty good buddies, so i'm thinking they'll enjoy some alone time to do more bonding :)
Friday, August 12, 2011
aaaaaaaand now i'm (still) ddrinking wine by myself and looking at real estate in marin and it's making me smile. it's the simple things in life, really.
this one's my favorite:
http://www.marinrealestate.net/idx/listings/21114665/details.html
but i GUESS, if i HAD TO, i could settle for this one:
http://www.marinrealestate.net/idx/listings/21118310/details.html
haha, i'm really amusing myself now =D
this one i would love for the property. sigh: http://www.marinrealestate.net/idx/listings/21116003/details.html
this one's my favorite:
http://www.marinrealestate.net/idx/listings/21114665/details.html
but i GUESS, if i HAD TO, i could settle for this one:
http://www.marinrealestate.net/idx/listings/21118310/details.html
haha, i'm really amusing myself now =D
this one i would love for the property. sigh: http://www.marinrealestate.net/idx/listings/21116003/details.html
today was a hard day. moms in the hospital again. i had that sick feeling in my stomach all day. dejavu. the worst kind. the beginning of last summer all over again. now i've been drinking wine by myself, looking at old pictures, feeling nostalgic and empty. talking to my dad earlier about what a shitty experience they had at the hospital, and how he left after dark and since he can't see well at night and doesn't know the south side that well, it took him awhile to get his bearings & he made a bunch of wrong turns (at night, in the ghetto) and it took him a long time to get home (where he ate toast for dinner) broke my heart. i don't know what to do. i feel helpless out here. i'm wondering if i should fly home. i have a week and a half before classes start. i actually had a dream a few nights ago that i would have to fly back for my mom the week before school started. weird. i just don't know how this is gonna end. it's like looking into blackness. i don't know how to feel about this new treatment. or about any of it. i just feel so fucking bad for both of my parents. i cried a lot today.
on another note, shane wants to take me to paris for my birthday. he's going the week before it for work and his miles would cover my flight and the hotel room would be paid for by his work. it'd still cost me $ though - meals (although a few he could write off) and boarding soda. but how can i ask my parents to chip in for the rest of that when they are dealing with so much shit back home? i think i would feel too guilty. i can't wait to be able to be making a living on my own. one more year of school to get through.
also, i met the professor i'm going to be TAing for today. she (awesomely!) lives in my neighborhood. she seems really chill and i'm excited for this class. she's young and new to mills and i get a good vibe from her. i think it's all going to work out beautifully.
on another note, shane wants to take me to paris for my birthday. he's going the week before it for work and his miles would cover my flight and the hotel room would be paid for by his work. it'd still cost me $ though - meals (although a few he could write off) and boarding soda. but how can i ask my parents to chip in for the rest of that when they are dealing with so much shit back home? i think i would feel too guilty. i can't wait to be able to be making a living on my own. one more year of school to get through.
also, i met the professor i'm going to be TAing for today. she (awesomely!) lives in my neighborhood. she seems really chill and i'm excited for this class. she's young and new to mills and i get a good vibe from her. i think it's all going to work out beautifully.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
okay wrinkle cream experiment starts.........
now. :p
i'm trying Dermalogica Age Smart Age Reversal Eye Complex (if you want to try it, it's way cheaper on discount websites than on dermalogica's website where i think a 0.5 oz tube is &75!). i like dermalogica's products - my favorite lip balm everrrr is dermalogica's climate control. seriously. try it. it's like no other chapstick you've ever experienced. i'm obsessed. anyway, i'll update on this after awhile & let you know if it does anything.
now. :p
i'm trying Dermalogica Age Smart Age Reversal Eye Complex (if you want to try it, it's way cheaper on discount websites than on dermalogica's website where i think a 0.5 oz tube is &75!). i like dermalogica's products - my favorite lip balm everrrr is dermalogica's climate control. seriously. try it. it's like no other chapstick you've ever experienced. i'm obsessed. anyway, i'll update on this after awhile & let you know if it does anything.
Monday, August 8, 2011
walking.
i'm a total walker. i love walking. it's what relieves stress for me and makes me feel great. i try to walk everywhere i can. and almost everyday, i make a point of taking my dog for at least a 30 minute walk. i may not be going to a gym 3X/week, but at least i am still getting a great workout:
Walking and Building Muscles
In addition to burning fat and calories, walking builds muscles. You may have noticed that serious walkers have particularly shapely legs -- not "toothpick" legs or "thunder thighs." The reason is that walking builds, shapes, and tones muscles of the legs, hips, and buttocks.
Walking also boosts the strength and endurance of those muscles, which means you'll be able to do more with less fatigue. According to David Winter, Ph.D., professor of kinesiology at the University of Waterloo in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada, these are the main muscle groups walking affects:
Calf muscles: Walking is excellent for developing shapely calf muscles. The calf muscles provide the upward and forward momentum for the "pushoff" phase of walking, which lifts the heel off the ground.
Tibialis anterior and ankle extensor muscles: These muscles, which run along the anterior side of each shin, raise the toes and foot during the leg's forward motion (or "swing") phase. The muscles then lower the toes and foot as the heel hits the ground.
Hamstring muscles: Walking's pushoff phase (hip extension) works the hamstring muscles in the back of the thighs.
Quadriceps muscles: These muscles at the front of the thighs are used as each leg is extended.
Hip flexor muscles: The hip flexor muscles lift the thigh forward in the "swing" phase of the stride.
Buttock muscles: Rocking the hips during brisk walking works the gluteal (butt) muscles.
Abdominal muscles: Making a point of walking with natural, upright posture can strengthen the abdominal muscles.
Arm and shoulder muscles: These muscles are used when you pump your arms vigorously, up to chest or shoulder level, while walking (the left arm swings forward naturally as the right leg strides ahead, and vice versa).
Methods abound for enhancing the muscle-toning action. You can increase the involvement of the leg-lifting quadriceps by walking uphill -- and even downhill. And by lengthening your stride and walking faster, you'll demand more of the hamstrings, hip flexors, and buttocks.
(taken from:http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/diet-fitness/information/walking-to-lose-weight4.htm)
Walking and Building Muscles
In addition to burning fat and calories, walking builds muscles. You may have noticed that serious walkers have particularly shapely legs -- not "toothpick" legs or "thunder thighs." The reason is that walking builds, shapes, and tones muscles of the legs, hips, and buttocks.
Walking also boosts the strength and endurance of those muscles, which means you'll be able to do more with less fatigue. According to David Winter, Ph.D., professor of kinesiology at the University of Waterloo in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada, these are the main muscle groups walking affects:
Calf muscles: Walking is excellent for developing shapely calf muscles. The calf muscles provide the upward and forward momentum for the "pushoff" phase of walking, which lifts the heel off the ground.
Tibialis anterior and ankle extensor muscles: These muscles, which run along the anterior side of each shin, raise the toes and foot during the leg's forward motion (or "swing") phase. The muscles then lower the toes and foot as the heel hits the ground.
Hamstring muscles: Walking's pushoff phase (hip extension) works the hamstring muscles in the back of the thighs.
Quadriceps muscles: These muscles at the front of the thighs are used as each leg is extended.
Hip flexor muscles: The hip flexor muscles lift the thigh forward in the "swing" phase of the stride.
Buttock muscles: Rocking the hips during brisk walking works the gluteal (butt) muscles.
Abdominal muscles: Making a point of walking with natural, upright posture can strengthen the abdominal muscles.
Arm and shoulder muscles: These muscles are used when you pump your arms vigorously, up to chest or shoulder level, while walking (the left arm swings forward naturally as the right leg strides ahead, and vice versa).
Methods abound for enhancing the muscle-toning action. You can increase the involvement of the leg-lifting quadriceps by walking uphill -- and even downhill. And by lengthening your stride and walking faster, you'll demand more of the hamstrings, hip flexors, and buttocks.
(taken from:http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/diet-fitness/information/walking-to-lose-weight4.htm)
Sunday, August 7, 2011
um.
i'm getting wrinkles and it is tripping me out SO BAD. shane says it's because i laugh/smile a lot. i think it's terrible. i'm really starting to look & feel old lately =(
look at around my eyes in this pic with terra (even though it's a super cute picture & i heart her... it's just super obvious):
(click the picture to blow it up)
look at around my eyes in this pic with terra (even though it's a super cute picture & i heart her... it's just super obvious):
(click the picture to blow it up)
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Someone adopt this horse for me... (she's only $800)
info: http://www.equinenow.com/horse-ad-452601
video: http://youtu.be/ed2IWyhaH1k
video: http://youtu.be/ed2IWyhaH1k
Monday, August 1, 2011
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