attention.

i just walked my dog around the block - literally did one loop around the block - and 3 guys stopped me to hit on me/make cat calls.  first of all, i don't even understand it, because it's not like i'm trying to look cute right now: i have no makeup on, hair pulled back in a tight bun, wearing jeans, sneakers, & a baggy shirt that i plan on sleeping in tonight lol (although i guess they couldn't see that because i had a jacket on over it).  2 white guys and a black guy.  the black guy said "oooh girl you so beautiful.  you way cuter than your dog," to which i almost took offense to and told him "really?  because i think my dog is pretty damn cute." and all his friends laughed.
i don't get it though.  do some girls actually like this kind of attention?  because i hate it.  i wish everyone would just leave me alone lol.  no, i don't want you hitting on me while i'm walking my dog around the block.  no, i don't want you hitting on me when i'm in a bar trying to grab a drink and catch up with friends.  no, you yelling out your car window does not turn me on; it makes me laugh at you.  and no, you giving me your number or asking for mine does not impress me - it only shows me that all you care about is the way i look, because you know nothing about me.
i can see how it's flattering, but honestly, sometimes (especially when it happens at night) it makes me nervous because it makes me feel vulnerable and like a target.  the things that run through my head are not "i want to have sex with him," it's more along the lines of "do i have my pepper spray?" or "i hope this guy doesn't try to rape me." or "how quick can i pick up soda and start running?"  when it's in a safer situation, like in daylight or in a bar or something, usually when guys gawk at me i either laugh in their face, look them up and down and make the most disgusted expression i can muster, or just flat out ask them "what are you staring at?"  shane got mad at me once for doing the latter though when i was with him and makes fun of me for it now.  we were at a bar and i think we had only been dating a few weeks and these dudes a couple tables over would not stop staring so finally i was like "what?!  what?!" and shane immediately told me to stop it because he thought they might try to fight him lol.  i didn't know that people did that.
i don't know.  the only guy i love to dress up for and love that kind of attention from is my boyfriend.  maybe some girls like attention like that, but i definitely do not.  so please leave me alone people.

chicaaaaaaaago

so i just made flight reservations for me and little pop to go home to chicago in july.  we're gonna be there for 7 full days (9 days including the travel days).  i'm excited - i miss hot summer weather and my family and (even though i just saw a few of them) my friends.  i just sent out text messages to those i care to see that i'll be in town and i'm already starting to get that rushed feeling that i always get when i'm home visiting.  it's never enough time to see everyone that i want to see.  it's never enough time with each person that i do see.  there's definitely ways to knock out a few birds with one stone - get a group to go to dinner or the beach or out for drinks - but not all of my friends are part of the same crew.  not that they wouldn't get along for a night, but it's not the same... people don't act totally themselves around people they're not close too/comfortable with (although the nights that it does happen - like my going away party - are a total blast!).  i have friends from jr. high, friends from HS, friends from college, friends that i know randomly - and all of whom i want to spend time with.  i know everyone understands that it's hard to spend a lot of time with each person, but still.  i'm terrible at keeping in touch sometimes - i hate talking on the phone.  text message & facebook & email is about it.  so these moments that i actually get to spend with them mean a lot to me.  the great part is that when i'm with the people i care about it's like i just saw them yesterday - we immediately slide into a comfortable place and pick up where we left off.
and then on top of that i want to spend a lot of time with my parents, and if possible, see some extended family like my grandma.  plus my mom will be on chemo when i'm there so she'll probably want me to be around and do stuff for her.  and i'll want to do some fun things with my dad to relieve him of some of the stress/work.
i do plan on going back in august with shane, although he'll probably only be able to stay for a weekend, which means only one full day, which is hardly worth it.  i really want him to experience chicago in the summertime because it's a total blast.
oh, and then before all of this happens - i'm going to hawaii with shane and his family (and some of their friends) for 9 days.  we're going in 3 weeks and 3 days (yes, i'm counting down).  i am so freaking excited for it!!  it's been almost 3 years since i've been on a real vacation and i'm super stoked.  i seriously know everything that i'm bringing with.  i made a "to bring" list this morning.  i'm a total list maker.  and, since we're going for shane's 30th birthday, i booked massages for him & i on his actual bday a few days ago.  haha can you tell i'm excited?!  it's taking all of my willpower not to just pack right now.
so...what else.  oh, so i guess i forgot to include that the main way i keep in touch with family and friends is through ichatting.  duh.  i love it because i can actually see their faces so it's like we're in the same room.  i ichat with my parents a couple times a week.  this morning when we did, Soda & their dog KC had a serious conversation.  they were barking/whining at each other for a good ten minutes.  it was so cute.  here's some screenshots from their chat sesh:  (and don't mind me - i had just woken up and was still drinking coffee lol)

:(

i decided to cancel.  i feel terrible doing that back to back, and last minute both times.  i hate flaking out on things that i have committed to.


to make me feel better and to make all you readers (who in reality are probably just ambria and my parents, lol) happy, here's some of my favorite horse quotes:


~"In riding a horse, we borrow freedom."-Helen Thomson

~"There's something about the outside of a horse that's good for the inside of a man."-Winston Churchill

~"No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle."-Winston Churchill

~"The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears."-Arabian Proverb

~"The essential joy of being with horses is that it brings us in contact with the rare elements of grace, beauty, spirit and fire."-Sharon Ralls Lemon

~"A Hibernian sage once wrote that there are three things a man never forgets:  The girl of his early youth, a devoted teacher, and a great horse."-C.J.J. Mullen


~"A canter is a cure for every evil."-Benjamin Disraeli


~"Look back at our struggle for freedom,
Trace our present day's strength to it's source;
And you'll find that man's pathway to glory
Is strewn with the bones of the horse."-Anonymous

~"Wherever man has left his footprint in the long ascent from barbarism to civilization we will find the hoofprint of the horse beside it."-John Moore

~"A horse doesn't care how much you know, until he knows how much you care."-Pat Parelli

~"A horse is poetry in motion."-Anonymous

ugh.

i feel terrible right now.  like so miserable i want to cry.  i only got 2 hours of sleep last night -- because -- last thursday night i only got a few hours of sleep and felt so awful friday morning i had to cancel riding.  a few days before that my trainer cancelled because she was sick, so i only got to ride once last week.  so last night i was so obsessed with falling asleep early and getting a lot of sleep that i stressed myself out about it and couldn't fall asleep at all.
i don't know what to do now, i feel terrible cancelling again.  plus, i'm leasing a horse so i have a responsibility now, i need to go so he gets exercise.  but my head feels so hot and heavy and it feels like there's pressure inside of it pressing out.  it wouldn't be so bad, except it takes me an hour to drive to my barn, then i get the horse ready and ride for about an hour, which is an intense workout.  whoever says riding is not really a sport has not really ridden. i often end up out of breath, usually really sweaty, and if i don't go for a little bit, then i get super sore.  when i first started again after my 6 year hiatus, i literally couldn't walk for a week.  so then i have to drive an hour back after that.  plus it's raining.  plus, ya know, i ride thousand pound animals and need to be on top of my game.  and the fact that shane is out of town tweaks me out a little bit, too... because if something does happen to me, i'd need him to come take care of soda.  this is what my mind thinks about.  what should i do? :(

4 seconds of fame..

soo... my friends and i wound up in a promo commercial for angel island that is going to be running on KTVU all summer. haha check it out here: www.angelisland.com


and here's the schedule for the first week it's airing (0:15 = the 15 second version as opposed to the 30 second):

06/06/11 06:58:11PM

KTVU

0:15

FRIENDS 630PM

06/07/11 08:39:02AM

KTVU

0:15

MORNINGS ON TWO

06/07/11 11:59:35AM

KTVU

0:15

NOON NEWS

06/07/11 11:41:19PM

KTVU

0:15

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

06/08/11 12:28:23PM

KTVU

0:15

NOON NEWS

06/08/11 11:59:34PM

KTVU

0:15

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

06/09/11 11:50:38AM

KTVU

0:15

DON'T FORGET THE LYRICS

06/10/11 11:27:16AM

KTVU

0:15

FAMILY FEUD 11AM

06/10/11 12:28:53PM

KTVU

0:15

NOON NEWS

06/10/11 12:45:50PM

KTVU

0:15

ARE YOU SMARTER

06/10/11 05:58:10PM

KTVU

0:15

5PM NEWS

06/10/11 11:29:30PM

KTVU

0:15

SEINFELD 11PM

06/11/11 09:28:50AM

KTVU

0:15

AQUA KIDS

06/11/11 04:42:17PM

KTVU

0:15

TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

06/11/11 05:54:13PM

KTVU

0:15

HOUSE

06/12/11 05:28:35AM

KTVU

0:15

TODAY'S HOMEOWNER

06/12/11 06:08:53PM

KTVU

0:15

MALOU REVIEW

Sweet Home Chicago

i had a good night tonight.  went and grabbed sushi and drinks with my friend nicki who is basically my only girlfriend out here.  at one point in our conversation, we talked about chicago.  i was telling her that shane & i have been trying to find a good jazz bar out here in SF and havn't been able to find one at all which is crazy.  shane told me that what he is picturing is a small place with a few tables, really dark, really intimate, smokey, and i can seriously name about 8 places in chicago matching that description off the top of my head.  when i think of chicago, i think of jazz and blues clubs just like that.  to me, that is quintessential chicago.  chicago is very prohibition.  smokey old dark hole in the wall jazz & blues clubs and piano bars.  old timers.  old time badasses like my dad.  i do really miss that.  chicago and san francisco are SUCH different cities.  i feel like they may as well be in different countries.  living in california has always been my dream, and i am so glad that i did it.  but there is a lot that i miss about my home town.  it's just a different vibe, a different feel - more gritty, more bad ass, more old.  san francisco is so new and fresh to me, so forward thinking, so on the edge, so pushing the boundaries.  it's bright and sunny with blue skies and colorful houses.  it's fluttery and up in the sky while chicago is steel and grounded.  chicago is cold and grey.  and black and white.  like an old scratchy film.  film noir.  chicago is old fashioned.  al capone.  mobsters.  old badasses with grey hair and leather jackets smoking cigarettes whose filters are damp from their lips, who sit bent over bars and their glasses of liquor.  it has that classic feel to it.  and that is why i love it.  you can just feel it walking around.  i guess i'm feeling a little nastalgic right now.  there's so many great things about both places.  i guess it's most definitely possible to have roots and wings, and i'm glad that i have had the honor to live in two of the greatest cities in this country.


oh, and since i am big on the pictures, here is a photo of nic and i representing chicago :-)

Soda Pop

My dog, Soda Pop, is a coton de tulear :)