cute outfits that have lately been rocked ^

i finally decided it was time to start a blog.  i'm not totally sure what i'm going to write about yet - probably a mixture of stories, pictures, fashion, daily happenings.  you'll probably see a lot of my dog on here, as well.  i used to have xanga's and livejournals when i was younger, but they ended up being diary's that i made private for only close friends.  i don't know if you can do that with this site and i'm not sure if anyone will even read this, anyway?  so i'll probably just be writing more for myself without an audience in mind.  if i can even do that knowing it's going to be out there.

so since you know nothing about me i'll tell you something.  i'm in my last week of my first year of grad school.  after next thursday i'll be halfway done.  this past school year has been quite the experience, and even though it flew by, i've noticed that i've done a lot of growing and opening up to new ideas that had never before came to mind (mostly feminist-related... my school's pretty politically charged, haha).  i think grad school has been a good experience overall.  i keep trying to decide.  i love my campus - it's absolutely beautiful.  i've had a lot of positive experiences.  but i've also had a lot of negative ones.  and the negative ones have been incredibly intense, and painful, and hurtful, and _______.   i'm trying to keep an open mind, though, and remember that negative experiences are spaces for tremendous growth.  my biggest personality flaw is that i'm too sensitive - i take things too personally, let things affect me too much.  i think i remember every moment of my life where someone has been mean to me or i've been in a situation that has caused me to feel hurt.  and now i've been replaying back certain things that have happened this past semester over and over in my head.  i keep having to remind myself of the buddha quote that goes something like "holding onto anger is like holding onto a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else - you are the one who gets burned."  and i believe that.  i believe in the power of manifestation, the law of attraction, the idea that your thoughts create your reality.  i try my hardest to think positive thoughts and constantly be grateful for what i have and to see the beauty in everything and send out positive vibes and a frequency of love and be kind to others.  i just feel like i've been struggling lately with this positive experience being shattered by the way some individuals have treated me.  i'm working on that, though.  some other quotes i really dig:


I have learned silence from the talkative,
tolerance from the intolerant
and kindness from the unkind.
I should not be ungrateful to those teachers.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~

What angers us in another person
is more often than not an unhealed aspect of ourselves.
If we had already resolved that particular issue,
we would not be irritated by its reflection back to us.

~ Simon Peter Fuller

Everything really is a chance to expand your heart and mind and consciousness and to learn and grow.  In the scheme of things, in this short time that I have in this human experience on this planet, something someone says shouldn't matter at all.  I highly doubt I was actually put here to be saddened by someone else's thoughts or accusations.  But at the end of the day, I'm human, and my feelings get hurt.  

On a happier note - I am actually an incredibly happy person.  I absolutely love my life and am so thankful for it and for everyone in it.  I love my dog, my parents, my friends.  I love the city I am living in.  About 2 years ago I moved halfway across the country from everyone I knew and loved.  I moved with an ex whom I had been with for a few years, and when we broke up, I still felt very new to the city and hadn't really made any solid connections or friends out here yet.  Instead of going back home with my tail between my legs, I decided to view it as an adventure and stayed out here.  I ended up meeting someone and completely falling head over heels for him and couldn't be happier with my current relationship.  Something's different about this one.  It's easy.  Effortless.  It just feels right and I am still blown away that I found him and he's real and exists and loves me back.

it's getting late now though so i am going to sign off.  goodnight internet world.

-krash