i had a weird experience today. wrote for a long time this morning, working on that memoir. writing it was easy, it came naturally, it felt good. then i finished and started to read it and that's when the panic attack came - started getting really shaky and feeling super nauseous. right then my dad texted me and said "don't put anything about your memoir on facebook, moms too sick to handle it." that was the last thing i needed to hear at that moment. full panic attack started. plus a headache. i tried to keep reading what i had written, but i couldn't. i had to put it down. i took my dog around the block to get some air. i used that neck massager i bought recently from amazon to help the headache. suddenly, i just felt like i had to lay down. i put on pajama pants and crawled into bed. i felt so sick. i ended up staying there for 3 1/2 hours. it's crazy how much just reading what i had written impacted me and what an effect it had on my body.


laying in bed trying to calm myself down: