restless.

i'm feeling restless. like i need a change. like i'm just hanging on the edge, waiting for something big to happen. i'd love to move - just to change things up. to decorate a new place. to start fresh. but that's stupid because i love my apartment and got so lucky with it that it's worth hanging on to for at least another year. but i feel like something huge and life changing is approaching, like i can feel the tide swiftly being pulled out past me into the ocean beyond, collecting into a big wave that is growing bigger and bigger as each day passes, ready any moment now to come crashing down all around me. i feel like i am in the middle of change, that everything is about to get whirled around, but i just can't grasp what it is yet. it's an anxious feeling and i'm not sure what to do with it.

but who knows, maybe it's because i was so excited for hawaii, and then so excited for chicago, and then so excited to come back to sf and see shane, that i'm just in the mind frame of looking forward to things. i'm going to tahoe tomorrow, that's something else to be excited about. and saturday, two days from now, is shane and i's one year anniversary. damn that year went by fast. crazy fast.

what i'm NOT looking forward to is going back to school. it's my last year and i'm sure that it will breeze by. but i had so many negative experiences the last year that i'm dreading going back a little bit. although for the most part everyone that i had problems with graduated, so hopefully this new class will be chill and low key and drama free. a year is nothing now, though, so whatever. and at least i'll be busy again. having too much time on my hands is a problem.

so what else, what else, what else? my mom started a new treatment today; that is most definitely something to be anxious about. i went to a friend's birthday dinner last night with ten other people, two of whom were my ex and some 24 year old french canadian girl whose first language was definitely french and not english, that he met at a music festival in detroit that lives in canada and flew out to SF to visit him. oh, and the only two open seats left by the time they arrived (late), were right next to me. that was fun. it was good to see that whole crew, though. i ended up having a good time anyway. then i left and went to shane's with soda and watched 12 Monkeys with him and his roommates. that was a good end to the night. after that dinner, i was jittery and i had to see him. what a life, what a life i am living.

pet peeves.

-when people pee on the seat of public toilets. if you're really that big of a germ freak, put some tp on the seat or use one of those paper seat protector things. or, at the very, absolute least, have the courtesy to wipe it off for the next person. so gross.

-when you've been waiting in a certain spot for a cab for a long time, and someone comes and stands a few feet down the block and snags one in front of you. ugh. hate cab stealers.

-people whose knees bend slightly backwards when they're standing. it creeps me out.

-people who chew gum with their mouths open.

-overplucked eyebrows.

-when people talk during the dramatic/emotional part of a movie.